Hurtful Experience Taxonomy of Brian Brodie

I'm Brian Brodie, and following the Taxonomy of Hurtful Experiences that David posted, here is a similar taxonomy of my own. This is to back up that taxonomy another one on how Aspies can be vulnerable to hurtful, even mindquake experiences. Apart from my innate vulnerability, I appreciate sometimes it's due to theory of mind.

1. Housing/neighbours. Biggest section and I think deservedly so, as time and time again I have struggled badly to cope with the housing I've lived in and the neighbours there, because of repeatedly ending up beside antisocial neighbours. Usually the sort of neighbours, indeed, who get evicted or are in danger of it.

Take the last four addresses I lived at:

Address 1: Here I had a next door neighbour who didn't like me very much. For some reason he was always saying I was standing outside the Playhouse early in the mornings, when I was never near there in the mornings. He must have thought I was hiding something, and so I was a liar. (Given the location perhaps there was a suspicion - and intolerance - of homosexuality?)

Then one night I went to the pub across the road and said next door neighbour was me. He assumed a threatening manner of approach towards me, starting to manhandle me, causing me to fear assault, and accusing me of everything under the sun. Including a paedophile - which is what sticks out in my mind. Everyone else in the pub could see he was being out of order and was trying to stop him. But I was so traumatised I put my flat up for sale, and bought another one (address 2) to move to.

Address 2: Had to put up with extremely noisy neighbours below, and them and their friends loitering in the stair using drugs almost every day. This and other desturctive behaviour went on until they were evicted. After that I lived in a period of peace, unique to the period under discussion, until moving on because I was trying to trade up the property ladder.

Address 3: Again, extremely noisy neighbours above, groups of youths often loitering outside, my windows regularly being panned with stones. Again I was living in very little peace. That family was then evicted but replacement neighbours were not much better.

Address 4: Where I am now, and by far the most traumatic living experience I have had. Again, a neighbouring flat is home to a very antisocial family, and youths are loitering beside my flat (residents of neighbouring flat plus friends) almost every night, often drinking/smoking/drug using, usually committing horrendous disturbances. Vandalism on many occasions, even urinating in stair. I have had people waiting outside my flat with a baseball bat. I am suffering severe mental health problems due to living here, especially as this situation has not improved in 2 years. Hoping to sell up and move soon. Apparently the household concerned is in danger of eviction though.

Much of the above has happened due to intense pressure from parents and church members (taxonomies of their own) for home ownership, despite my better judgment and freedom of choice (above experiences speak of how limited my options have been), but being unable to resist in the face of how heavy people's persuasion has been.

2. Parents: Ever since adoption as a young child I have been scared of them, due to the tendency of aggression of my father especially. Serious emotional and verbal abuse, even sometimes physical. Even as an adult I may be sometimes prone to that (e.g. I have been physically assaulted on account of not having had children).

It's not that there aren't good times with them, but overall I'm very scared.

3. School bullying. Out of several primary schools I attended, one in particular (in Perth) was especially bad. At high school there were times it was particularly horrendous and traumatic.

4. Work experiences. Most jobs I have had have featured hurtful experiences. First job after graduation from university saw me coerced into working at least 13 hour days every single weekday (at least I got weekends off) and then sacked for alleged non-performance and forced to sign a gagging clause. I was, of course, burned out. Another job saw me experience over 4 years of emotional and verbal abuse from the owners, two brothers with whom I had to work very closely, which decimated me emotionally. Fortunately my current job, while it still has its social problems, is a far better environment and I'm happy, content and settled there.

5. My love-shyness could be identified as leading to problems and hurtful experiences. For example it's no doubt responsible for some of the trauma from neighbours.

6. Church life. Something I was really into for a period, and I won't deny it really helped me in life for a period, but it's an area where I've often felt betrayed too. For example, I was humiliated by my minister at a Christian conference over my Asperger's, as he harassed me into a healing session on account of AS. It didn't work and rightly so. I am on edge with many church members as I sense I'm being patronised by many of them. Many are disparaging behind my back (so I'm told by a friends) about my Asperger's.

7. I went through a phase where I was very into attending nightclubs, hoping it would be a way to meet females. I attended them alone as I didn't really have any social circle at that time, but that must have led to problems. I didn't seem to be popular with many females - hardened female clubbers who would tell me to fuck off etc., and thought a love-shy like me should get a life. My clubbing phase ended when a group of guys targeted me wishing to assault me, because they assumed I was a paedophile. I was taken (part of the way) home by police for my own safety.

These are the main things I can think of for now, though this can be expanded more.

Brian Brodie